Famed Navy SEAL and leadership expert Jocko Willink has the habit of replying to colleagues or friends that approach him with major issues by saying: “Good! A chance to grow.”
The following question is probably equal parts difficult, necessary, and profound: What if we could face adversity and ask ‘why is this happening for me’ rather than ‘why is this happening to me?’
Consider the difference between losing a friend to a drunk driving accident and losing a friend to cancer. Same outcome, yet we somehow feel less devastated when we can direct our anger towards something (drunk drivers), versus towards a disease we don’t understand.
Though a powerful anti-depressant, anger is a short-term and unhealthy alternative to working through suffering.
It’s possible to overcome and even be motivated by adversity. The choice is to process grief by accepting what “is”, or to carry blame, animosity, and the repetitive story of what “should be”, and why you deserve to stay angry.
Leverage means investing in activities that provide a disproportionate return. Get your short list right, and free up mental capacity to focus on what matters. A few examples for me are:
– Sleep
– Reinforcing discipline (in multiple areas)
– Exercise
– Human connection
– Meditation
– Not watching the news
– Not stressing over what others say or think of me
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© 2026 by Steve Acho
