The Communication Skill Schools Forgot

There are four ways to communicate: reading, writing, speaking, and listening.

School teaches us three.

Listening may be the most important skill in human relationships, yet few of us have learned how to do it well. During listening exercises in my keynotes, participants are often surprised by how unfamiliar genuine listening feels.

Here is one simple practice. When someone calls to vent, ask:

“Before you continue, would you like my advice, or would you prefer that I simply listen?”

The question may catch them off guard because they may not know the answer themselves.

But it communicates something powerful: I’m not here to impose what I think you need. I’m here to understand what you need.