The Critical Communication Skill Rarely Taught

Our education system trains us to read, write, and speak, but rarely the skill of listening. The essence of how to be a highly skill listener is best expressed by Stephen Covey: “Seek first to understand, then to be understood.”

Next time you’re in a discussion—especially a disagreement—don’t plan your reply while the other person is talking. Instead, try to restate their point in your own words, in a way they agree accurately reflects their message. When done well, the person you’re in disagreement with may feel as though you’ve changed your views.

The best way to ensure you’re heard is to make sure they feel heard first.