I don’t know enough

With some effort, perhaps we can normalize saying things like “I don’t know enough about that topic to have an informed opinion.”  One way to move in that direction is to acknowledge that, no matter your expertise, there is some aspect of any topic of which you are ignorant – limited by a lack of compelling data or maybe just a perspective you’ve been denied through no fault of your own. My hope is that one day, an admission that someone “doesn’t know enough yet” will not only be normal, but as respected as the expert answer.

Opinions and preferences

It’s easy to share your opinion on something truly subjective like music, food, or art without being hostile. That band, that food, and that style of art doesn’t suck – they’re just not for you. And of course we all have the right to have preferences. Sometimes people with strong preferences or beliefs share them as if they were truths. When you share opinions, make it obvious that they are your preferences, your views, your thoughts, and not objective facts about which people can either agree or be wrong/stupid. That’s a recipe for bickering and dividing people. I hope we can all agree that there’s enough of that.

Guidelines that simplify

Guidelines allow us to predetermine how we’ll direct our energy to make thoughtful decisions.  One guideline I use in a situation where I’m invited to something that I can’t commit to, is to say “I can’t make it but I really appreciate the invite.  If anything changes I’ll to let you know.”

This makes my default answer “no” rather than “maybe.”  No guilt, no follow-up, no mental energy required.  Also, if I am able to make it in the end, it’s a much more positive outcome than if I’d have said “maybe” and backed out.

What  simple guidelines can you create now so that you’re less reactive when it’s decision time?