Scheduling things that matter

Many of us who are vigilant about managing our calendars don’t use them in ways that best serve us.

We use calendars to schedule meetings, doctors appointments, and other obligations.  While necessary, these are actually scheduled interruptions of deep work, family time, self improvement, and time spent on hobbies or connecting with close friends.

Being vigilant with your calendar is useful.  But be sure to schedule things that matter in addition to interruptions.  If you don’t decide what you’re going to do on your “free” time, the rest of the world will step in and decide for you.

Disorders and compassion

For those of us who don’t suffer from mental or psychological disorders, it can be difficult to empathize with those who are bipolar, manic depressants, or generalized anxiety disorder (just to name a few).

Before we judge and label people, it’s important to remember that these are actual (and in some cases un-treatable) ailments that these people didn’t choose.

This perspective can be helpful in cultivating empathy: We would never be quick to judge someone because they had diabetes or tuberculosis.  Similarly, we can have compassion for those with other ailments for which they are essentially victims of biology.

Get over what “they” think of you

Our need for approval has us pursuing unfulfilling careers and relationships, and saying “yes” out of obligation rather than desire.  The culprit is the voice in our heads that says “what will they think of me?”

The pill for this is self-reflection, and a commitment to exploring your own operating system, and true aspirations.

Three perspectives that have helped me on this:

1. Others’ opinions of me are not my business.

2. My world revolves around me but everyone else’s doesn’t (people think of us far less than we think, or at least, far less than we do).

3. The #1 deathbed regret globally is that people lived their lives as they believed others thought they should.