Seeing things as “fit”

Is it better to rent or buy?  Start a business or get a job?  The better question is: What’s a better fit for me?

The truth is, your exes may never find anyone better than you.  But they may find someone better for them than you.  The company you applied to may never hire a better candidate than you.  But they may hire someone who is a better fit for that specific role, time, location, salary, interest level, motivation, capability, control of their calendar…

You’ll stop judging so harshly, and will see the abundance of opportunities available to you, when you view life through the lens of “better/worse fit for me” and stop seeing the world as though there’s such thing as universally good or bad, better or worse.

Getting past the race

We teach kids to share toys when they’re not using them, and to applaud their siblings and friends’ achievements.  As adults, we can learn to be genuinely happy for people around us who gain or do things important to them, without fearing invisible adverse affects on us.

Part of maturing means recognizing that others’ progress is not our failure.

It’s so much easier to avoid anxiety about whether you’ll win the race when you realize that you’re not in one.

Conversing and arguing

Conversation that includes disagreement seems to be a lost art. People get emotional when their beliefs are challenged.  This can cause an escalation to personal attacks, which makes us lose sight of the original debate, and the concepts and opinions on which we actually disagree.

There’s an easy way to tell the difference between an argument and a conversation: The point of an argument is to determine WHO is right. Whether or not we agree, the point of a conversation is to try to determine WHAT is right.