Practicing what you preach

Ancient stoic practices help you walk the talk about things people tend to say, but perhaps not live up to:

– “I don’t care what people think” – Wear odd clothing in public that draws negative attention and reflect on how trivial it is to worry about what others think

– “I don’t do nice things to take credit” – Anonymously buy lunch for a stranger or the person behind you in line

– “Material things aren’t important” – Assign days where you don’t make purchases, overeat, wear nice clothes, or live in abundance, all the while asking yourself “is this the condition I so feared?”

“Practice” implies making it a habit.  We are what we do, not what we say we are.

High quality questions to help you get unstuck

1. What would be ideal? (I find this to be MUCH more informative than “what do you want?” or “what would make you happy?”)

2. What one thing can I let go of such that my level of stress will be significantly reduced? 

3. Can I convert this thought or belief from shame/fear to hope/compassion? 

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What I learned about codependence

There are multiple books (and psychologists) that specialize in helping people with codependence. I’m hoping that my brief definition and summary of my personal lessons are of help to many others. Briefly: to be codependent is to have an over-inflated sense of responsibility for others’ feelings. It’s the desire to meet others’ needs at the expense of your own. As challenging as it is to embody these principles, here are a few things to internalize: – When there’s a choice to honor your needs or others’ needs, choose your own. – Putting yourself first is not selfish. It’s a radical act of self-love. – You are not the antidote for how anyone else feels.