Why The Golden Rule Falls Short (And what To Replace It With)

The book The 5 Love Languages explains how we each express and receive love in different ways, through words of affirmation, acts of service, gifts, quality time, and physical touch. We prioritize and interpret these “languages” differently.

The biggest insight? “Treat others how they want to be treated” is often more effective than the golden rule. Not everyone values love the same way you do. Being aware of your own preferences, and the preferences of the people you care about most strengthens the connection and communication.

The Means Is Not The End. Here's What You Actually Need

A powerful reminder, paraphrased from Mark Manson:

You don’t need your job. You need income that makes you feel secure.

You don’t need a partner. You need to feel loved, safe, and seen.

You don’t need to be popular or perfect. You need to feel respected and valued.

It’s easy to confuse what we have or want with what we truly need.

Jobs, relationships, and status are just vehicles. The real goal is the emotion they help us feel.

On Building Your Network

Strong relationships are built over time. The best time to grow your network is before you need one.

A powerful way to do that is to simply be useful. Look for ways to help others. Make introductions, offer insight, share resources. Not for payback (though it often comes), but because it's the right thing to do and builds your reputation along the way.

My wise friend Josh Linkner sums it up perfectly: “Give generously. Don’t keep score.”