The heart of empathy: the art of listening

Traditional schooling emphasizes three key communication skills: reading, writing, and speaking. We seem to have left out the fourth equally crucial skill: listening.

Listening is not a passive activity or a mere synonym for "hearing." The Toastmasters organization has been around for 100 years for good reason. Learning to organize thoughts and speak well is an important skill. It's a shame there's no equivalent for listening.

The ability to help people feel heard/seen is a life-changing, possibly life-saving skill. Great listening is the foundation of empathy. When people feel seen and heard it builds trust. One definition of "trust" is to feel safe enough to reveal your vulnerabilities to me, knowing that I won't exploit them.

Cultivating Growth: Lessons from Martial Arts and Gardening

Quoting one of my martial arts instructors: Great teachers create an environment where learning reveals itself.

Plant lovers don't "grow" plants; they create an environment that encourages growth (water, sunlight, etc.).

This post is not about martial arts or plants. The most profound responsibility for anyone in a role of leadership or influence is to create the optimal environment where growth can occur.

The number one deathbed regret

By far, across every country, culture, demographic, the number one deathbed regret is some version of: "I wish I had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me."

A couple of useful definitions of wisdom: 

1) Having deathbed clarity long before you're on your deathbed

2) The ability to take the same advice you'd give others