Stress and control

No matter how serious the challenge is, from ego-driven to life-threatening, there is one theme that everyone who feels stress shares: feeling out of control. Those who are unemployed feel helpless to be in that position, and many with jobs are unhappy as they feel like their priorities and time are dictated by others.

One antidote is to control whatever you can. One reason that the military emphasizes perfectly making the bed upon waking up is that we can start each day immediately accomplishing something small and within our control.

If your stress stems from feeling out of control of your life, take it back by taking control of the small wins.

An alternative to NY resolutions

The 80/20 principle reveals how 80% of positive or negative experiences result from 20% of events.  Exact ratios vary (90/10, 70/30) but the principle shows how fundamentally unbalanced the world is as it applies to wealth distribution, product sales, and even friends.

A very small number of people own most of the world’s wealth.  A small number of products from any company make up most of its sales.  A small number/percentage of all your friends contribute a huge amount to your well-being.

One alternative to New Year’s resolutions is to review the year, analyzing the people you surround yourself with, your time spent, and uses of attention and energy thru an 80/20 lens.  Which few things in each category contributed to the biggest positive or negative states of mind?  Deciding to make a few very small changes for a disproportionately positive outcome is a terrific investment.

Creating the environment

My earliest martial arts teacher had a mic-drop line that I never forgot: “Great teachers create an environment where the learning reveals itself.”  Great teachers are facilitators.  So is everyone else who can influence not just learning but collaboration.

A business owner can cultivate an environment that fosters respect among coworkers,  or an environment of diverse perspectives where people can disagree without fear of consequences.

Cultures emerge no matter what – in your office, your family, in sports teams, and in relationships.  It’s hard to overstate the value of creating one deliberately.